One of my favorite questions I love to ask is, "What do you want?" I ask this of my family, friends, and of people I have just met. I am always amazed at how challenging this question is for people to answer. It's almost like there is a fear around owning our own personal desires, and it seems much safer to focus on the experiences we don't want.
I have a friend who has recently experienced a very painful relationship break-up. They spend hours talking about the ghastly occurrences within the relationship. Now, I do understand that there is value in venting and releasing, and allowing oneself to release the pain from ending a relationship. But when does that venting cross the line into obsessively focusing on what they didn't want to create? aka. Complaining? I heard once that the definition of complaining is, voicing an opinion about what is not working, without offering a solution.
While it is healthy to grieve, and to feel emotions, I see that often what can be missed is the balance of focusing on what experience is wanted. Instead of constantly affirming, "That spineless coward cheated on me, it was horrible!", what about saying, "I am deserving, and I want a loyal and committed relationship."
I am using this example to prove my point, and it can be transferred to any area of life really. How often have I found yourself complaining about the weather, traffic, work situation? Putting energy and attention towards that which I don't want to experience? What would happen if I turned my attention towards that I wish to experience? What feelings occur within when the weather is the way I want it to be? I can focus on creating that feeling within myself! What driving experiences would I like have? I can focus then upon making that happen! What experience would I like to have at my job? I can focus then on taking action steps that move me either towards that experience, or towards a new job.
Putting energy and focus upon that which I don't want, only allows me to continue to be victimized by the circumstance. When I can begin to allow themselves to play and imagine what it is I do want, then a doorway to owning my own power is opened!
When we were children, we used our imaginations all the time! As a child, I used to dream about all of the things I wanted. Somewhere, life happened, and I had begun to tell myself that I couldn't get what I wanted, and then I complained about not getting what I wanted, so then I got more of what I didn't want!
Today, I am going to focus on the delightful process of uncovering what I want! What are my hearts true desires? What do I want to Be, Do, and Have this lifetime? I want to have the courage to 'put it out there'. It doesn't mean I have to make an action plan to accomplish everything that I want. However, living in the energy of of 'What do I want', is far my generating than existing in the space of 'That's not what I want'.
So.. then.. have some fun with yourself, and ask, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I have a friend who has recently experienced a very painful relationship break-up. They spend hours talking about the ghastly occurrences within the relationship. Now, I do understand that there is value in venting and releasing, and allowing oneself to release the pain from ending a relationship. But when does that venting cross the line into obsessively focusing on what they didn't want to create? aka. Complaining? I heard once that the definition of complaining is, voicing an opinion about what is not working, without offering a solution.
While it is healthy to grieve, and to feel emotions, I see that often what can be missed is the balance of focusing on what experience is wanted. Instead of constantly affirming, "That spineless coward cheated on me, it was horrible!", what about saying, "I am deserving, and I want a loyal and committed relationship."
I am using this example to prove my point, and it can be transferred to any area of life really. How often have I found yourself complaining about the weather, traffic, work situation? Putting energy and attention towards that which I don't want to experience? What would happen if I turned my attention towards that I wish to experience? What feelings occur within when the weather is the way I want it to be? I can focus on creating that feeling within myself! What driving experiences would I like have? I can focus then upon making that happen! What experience would I like to have at my job? I can focus then on taking action steps that move me either towards that experience, or towards a new job.
Putting energy and focus upon that which I don't want, only allows me to continue to be victimized by the circumstance. When I can begin to allow themselves to play and imagine what it is I do want, then a doorway to owning my own power is opened!
When we were children, we used our imaginations all the time! As a child, I used to dream about all of the things I wanted. Somewhere, life happened, and I had begun to tell myself that I couldn't get what I wanted, and then I complained about not getting what I wanted, so then I got more of what I didn't want!
Today, I am going to focus on the delightful process of uncovering what I want! What are my hearts true desires? What do I want to Be, Do, and Have this lifetime? I want to have the courage to 'put it out there'. It doesn't mean I have to make an action plan to accomplish everything that I want. However, living in the energy of of 'What do I want', is far my generating than existing in the space of 'That's not what I want'.
So.. then.. have some fun with yourself, and ask, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I LOVE your blog T-L! you are a great writer and you have an awesome perspective on things. I love that you are sharing this. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks AD! I feel the same way about your blog!
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