Last night, I strapped on my new running shoes, velcroed my Mom's GPS on, made sure I was hydrated, and plugged in my ipod. Yet, my mind was STILL in resistance to walk out the door to start my evening run. It amazes me that I can be engaged in such a ferocious brain battle, when the reality is running is a first-class ticket to 'Happy Land'.
In spite my brain skirmish, I managed to actually begin to run. I found myself bowled over by how cheery I felt. The joy wasn't there at first, it sort of slowly crept out of my heart chakra right about 10 minutes into the run. But it was definitely there, a vast emotional sea of delight. The sun was setting, and as it did it's rays penetrated my heavy heart, blowing it wide-open. As my heart continue to untie, I noticed that the birds were creating new lyrics, and their music was abound. I witnessed children amusing themselves at the playground, and family's connecting along side the smell of BBQ's. I couldn't seem to take in all the green around me fast enough, and it was everywhere!
As my run entered the closing stages, I found myself wishing it would never end. By opening the door of running, I had entered a sacred place of spirit, and I wasn't ready to leave. Then I realized that my brain was entering back into that place of defiance, and I could feel myself slipping away from the sanctified connection I had felt only moments before. A smile slinked across my face and I let it all go. I managed to maintain a small thread of connection to the divine space I had discovered during my run. Last night, I had the best sleep in weeks.
In the end, the next time my brain enters into fierce competition over getting out the door for a run, I shall sit it down and read this blog entry. I will lovingly thank my brain for it's resistance as it keeps me safe, and that in this case, it can rest and be assured that going for that run is truly the most excellent action for both of us. Sometimes, ya just got to say, 'oh what the f*ck, go for it anyway!
In spite my brain skirmish, I managed to actually begin to run. I found myself bowled over by how cheery I felt. The joy wasn't there at first, it sort of slowly crept out of my heart chakra right about 10 minutes into the run. But it was definitely there, a vast emotional sea of delight. The sun was setting, and as it did it's rays penetrated my heavy heart, blowing it wide-open. As my heart continue to untie, I noticed that the birds were creating new lyrics, and their music was abound. I witnessed children amusing themselves at the playground, and family's connecting along side the smell of BBQ's. I couldn't seem to take in all the green around me fast enough, and it was everywhere!
As my run entered the closing stages, I found myself wishing it would never end. By opening the door of running, I had entered a sacred place of spirit, and I wasn't ready to leave. Then I realized that my brain was entering back into that place of defiance, and I could feel myself slipping away from the sanctified connection I had felt only moments before. A smile slinked across my face and I let it all go. I managed to maintain a small thread of connection to the divine space I had discovered during my run. Last night, I had the best sleep in weeks.
In the end, the next time my brain enters into fierce competition over getting out the door for a run, I shall sit it down and read this blog entry. I will lovingly thank my brain for it's resistance as it keeps me safe, and that in this case, it can rest and be assured that going for that run is truly the most excellent action for both of us. Sometimes, ya just got to say, 'oh what the f*ck, go for it anyway!
you werent runing you were flying
ReplyDeleteHahah! True enough : D Some nights I fly in my dreams too!
ReplyDelete