BFL - Day 8

What a whirlwind of a week. I only cried from the stress a couple of times. It's not like I'm crying because I'm super sad or anything, I just get so bogged down with deadlines and business that I just need to release... My friend said that when she was a waitress she called it 'swimming in the weeds' and that is what it feels like for me some days.

I do my best to balanced connecting with him... and manage everything else there is to take care of.

I know that I am doing everything I possibly can to be provide Bodhi with a loving, stable, happy, home... but at the end of the day, I can't help but be aware of the fact that even though I give everything I have to give to him.. it still isnt' enough... he deserves so much more than what I am giving him, but.. it's all I can give. , Every other single parent can relate to that I think...

Parenting is tough... Single parenting is extraordinarily tough.. I don't people to think I am complaining, because I don't feel victimized about it.. it is what it is... I'm proud of who I am in relation to being Bodhi's Mommy. I know I go into the day, show up, and give 100% of myself to what I'm doing... I guess today was just a really long hard day.

It's been a long hard week.

So, I must energize myself, and have been by eating well, and exercising... perhaps earlier bedtimes would help too.

He is so amazing too.. yesterday he asked me if we could go find the sunshine (it's cold and dark here in Canada and is for months) That made me smile! He is crawling on me now.. gotta go!